Fun at WalMart
by Christine232
Summary: Bella, Jacob, and the Cullen's go to Wal-Mart to have some fun. Better than it sounds! I suck at summaries! Read and Respond!
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I got this list from a profile, so this list might look familiar to some people. I didn't come up with the list only the next chapters. **

"Hey Bella come here," Alice called as she walked through the door. Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice were grouped around the coffee table. Under Alice's hand was a piece of paper. "Guess what we decided to do!" Alice said in a sing-song voice.

"What?" Bella asked sitting down beside Edward.

"First you have to call Jacob!"

"Do we have to get that mutt involved?" Rosalie asked exasperatedly.

"Yes" Alice answered as she handed Bella a phone. Bella called Jacob and asked him to come down to the Cullen's house. In 10 minutes they were all outside (because Jacob couldn't stand the smell inside)

"Ok, so we decided to go to the Wal-Mart down the street and have some fun!" Alice gushed. Instantly they all came up with ideas of what to do, Alice writing them down.

**15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART**

**1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.**

**2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,  
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.**

**3. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.**

**4. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.**

**5. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.**

**6. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,  
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"**

**7. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.**

**8. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.**

**9. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.**

**10. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.**

**11. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,  
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"**

**12. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..  
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"**

**13. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!**

**14. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"**

**15. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.**

A devious smile crossed all of their faces as they read over the list. "This is going to be awesome!" Emmett and Jacob said at the same time. And with that they all loaded up in the cars and went down to the local Wal-Mart.

**Author's Note**

**I will put up the next chapter by tomorrow night! Please feel free to read my other stories! Read and Respond plz!**


	2. Attack of the Alarm Clocks

Chapter 2: the attack of the alarm clocks

"Okay, number 1, set all the alarm clocks in the electronic section to go off in 5 minutes intervals." Emmett read as Alice drove at top speed.

When they arrived at the Wal-Mart they all went directly to the electronics section of the story. In the alarm clock aisle they were lots of clocks just waiting for the time to go off. Immediately everyone got to work setting the alarm clocks. Once they were done they shared a smile as they over looked their handiwork. They then hid behind the aisle and waited.

Five minutes later, the chaos started. The alarm clocks were beeping, blaring, honking, and hooting. On a few a disk flew off. Within a few minutes a girl in a Wal-Mart uniform arrived. She started to try to turn them all off. A few turned off by the girl but she couldn't reach all of them. A clock on the highest shelf was the most annoying by far. It had a deep horn sound over and over again. The girl struggled to reach it until she finally was able to climb up the shelves and turn it off. After around unplugging 10 alarm clocks, she finally went to the wall outlet and unplugged the clocks.

A few went off but most of them continued (battery powered). From in their hiding place the Cullens chuckled as Bella and Jacob were on the verge of rolling on the floor with laughter. Then the girl was joined by a tall man and together they turned them all off. After that the two left. As soon as they were gone all the Cullens, Bella, and Jacob left their hiding places. They went and set them up again, then left for the clothing section to find an employee to do the next part of the list.

A grin covered all of their faces, as they snuck off. Before they reached the clothing section, the alarm clocks went off again. They heard some one scream. Another person yelled "Damn it!" They all laughed. It was probably the girl employee that had been their before. On they went for number two on the list.

"Ok now we go up to an employee and tell them Code 3 in housewares. I think Emmett you will do that one." Alice said. "And I have a video camera," she said as she pulled it out of her purse, "to catch their reaction!"

"Hell yeah this is gunna be great!" Emmett yelled as they increased their pace.

**I hope you enjoyed that. I loved writing it. Please review. Just hit the button. Right there. You know you want too! :D**


	3. M&M's, tents, signs, and Mike

**Author's Note:**

**Hey everyone! Thanks for all the reviews! I am going to skip number 2 on the list because I can't decide what the reaction should be. But I still write a chapter with that one in the story! To CullenBoys23 I will try to make the chapter longer! Sorry everyone who thought they would figure out what Code 3 is. If you have any ideas on what it should mean the PM me! Please!**

**Christine232**

Chapter 3

"I think we should hold off on that one." Edward said. "Let's move on to the next one."

"Fine, number 3 go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away," Alice read. "Some one go grab a bag of M&M's." she added. Jacob left and soon returned with a yellow bag of peanut M&M's.

"Ok, I want to do this one!" Jacob said as they reached the cash registers.

"Fine let me get in the perfect spot," she said as she hide behind a bush a few feet away from the destined cash register. Jacob walked up to the counter where a man on a beard was ringing up the older man in front of Jacob. He waited and once the old man paid he walked up to the guy. On his name tag it read Brandon. "Hello," Jacob said as Brandon took the M&M's.

"Whatever" he answered back

"How is it going today Brandon. You know Brandon is a funny name. In Elementary school-"

"Cash or credit?"

"Lay away" Jacob answered confidently.

"Wait what?"

"I said lay away. I want the M&M's to be out on lay away."

"That's not possible sorry."

"No, no that not what the sign said!"

"What sign?"

"The sign that said 'Lay Away Available'"

"There was no sign"

"Yeah there was"

"No there wasn't"

"Do you want to get the manager involved?"

"No, no"

"That's what I thought!"

"I need to call him though to arrange your lay away though" Brandon said as he called for the manager. Immediately after, a man in dress pants and crisp white shirt walked up.

"What is it Brandon? I am busy!" he said.

"Mr. Mandon, this man wants to put a bag of M&M's on lay away."

"What? Why?"

"Because I only have a dollar but I have to have THIS bag of M&M's!"

"Sure! whatever! Brandon put the M&M's in the back and take his dollar." He said as he began to walk back to his office. With that Brandon took the dollar and M&M's and Jacob left with a huge smile on his face. As he was leaving the line he saw a 'Caution- Wet Floor' sign. He scooped it up as he passed and went back and joined the others.

"Hey I got a sign! Where do I put it?" Jacob said as he held up the yellow sign. Come on we can go to the clothing department and drop it off. With that they rushed to the clothing department. Once there they put the sign in the middle of the carpeted floor and get to hide, except for Emmett who went to the camping section to go set up a tent. After a while of giggles and chuckles, a woman and her son walked up.

"Mommy, what does that sign say?" the little boy asked.

"It says to be careful because there are wet floors," the woman said as she furrowed her brow, "Strange," she murmured. Once she left they all left their hiding places and went to the camping section. In the middle of the section in the biggest tent sat Emmett. He was calling all of the people he saw that they could go and grab some pillows from the bedding department.

"Only after that will I let you in!" he shouted at a couple looking at thermal socks. The couple shot him a nervous glance then slowly back away.

"Yes! I got that on camera!" Alice gushed as the couple turned the corner.

"Hey guys!" Emmett said. Right after that a man in the Wal-Mart vest walked up to Emmett.

"Excuse me sir, but you need to remove yourself from the camping department," said the man in an important voice. He was shaking though once Emmett stood up. The others could barely even stiff their laughter. Suddenly Mike Newton came from around the corner

"Emmett, Emmett! I hope I got here in time! Emmett I have a pillow can I come to your party?" Mike asked as he bowled over the employee. "Oh man, I'm sorry! Are you okay? Anyway, Emmett can we have a pillow fight?" Mike continued as he started jumping up and down like a teenage girl.

"Umm.. yeah Mike I have to go…" Emmett said as he extracted himself from the tent. "Where to next?" Emmett said as they left a crying Mike on the floor next to the tent and fuming employee.

**Lol! Hey review! Please! I hope you liked it I tried to make it longer so umm yeah. I know how much you love pushing the button so go ahead. Push the button, review, or else…**


	4. No Toilet Paper and Fake Mustaches

**Author's Note**

**Hey everyone sorry that it has taken so long to continue writing. All the stuff for high school registration and grades has been a lot to do. I have a four day weekend so I am hoping to put up a new chapter soon for my story Twilight After Breaking Dawn. I might continue on this one this weekend too if I get enough reviews!**

**Christine232**

"_Umm.. yeah Mike I have to go…" Emmett said as he extracted himself from the tent. "Where to next?" Emmett said as they left a crying Mike on the floor next to the tent and fuming employee._

Chapter 4

As soon as they got out of earshot of Mike and the employee they all burst out laughing. Emmett was about to fall down with his laughter. "I always thought that Mike was gay! I think that answered the question of whether or not he is gay!" Emmett gasped in between laughs.

"What's next?" Bella asked eagerly.

"Ok we have to get an employee to ask if they can help us, then one of us must start crying and say 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' at the top of your voice." Alice answered after looking at the paper for half a second. She rolled her eyes as she saw Jacob doing the pee-pee dance. **(:D LOL!)**

"Oh hey guys I need to go to the bathroom first! I'll be right back!" Jacob said as he rushed away. Everyone looked at one another and had to laugh at Jacob's 'dance'.

**Jacob's Point of View**

**

* * *

**

I rushed around the corner. _Damn I have to pee really badly!_ I ran to the bathrooms where I relieved myself. As I was washing my hands, I remembered one of the items on the list. I smiled deviously as I went to the clothing department at a little faster than human speed. I grabbed a random piece of clothing from a rack and went up to the desk.

The woman looked up from her newspaper and quickly pointed to a room to her left. I sat down on the back bench and watched 2 minutes past on my watch. After that I yelled out, wondering wether I would be banned from Wal-Mart forever for this. "There's no toilet paper in here!" I heard the woman fling her newspaper to the ground as she ran the short distance over to the door.

"Young man, that is for changing clothing NOT for relieving yourself!" she yelled as she pounded on the door. I quietly snickered as I decided to wait to open the door.

**Back with the other's…

* * *

  
**

Edward was watching Emmett approach a security camera when he heard Jacob. "There's NO toilet paper in here!" he yelled obviously at the top of his lungs. All of the Cullen's met each other's looks before they burst out laughing.

Suddenly, after Jacob, a shrill woman's voice was heard. "Young man, that is for changing clothing NOT for relieving yourself!" the voice yelled as Emmett fell on the floor with his laughter. Immediately, the entire store was silent as everyone listen to the woman try to bang the door down.

**Back with Jacob…**

**

* * *

**

Suddenly the woman stopped banging on the door. I heard the approach of someone obviously someone in charge by the way the woman talked to him.

"Mr. Mandon, there is a young man in their _urinating_ on the floor!" Mr. Mandon pushed past the woman as I heard the jangle of keys. _Oh crap…_ I saw the door knob turn slowly, like in a horror film.

"Young man… hey you're the guy who put the M&M's on lay away… What are you doing peeing in their?"

"Well, sir I was going to get a pair of pants" Jacob said as he held up the pair of pants he had grabbed, "and then I had to go to the bathroom really badly. I couldn't hold it sir!"

Mr. Mandon looked like al he wanted to do was to take me out back and give me a good whipping with his leather belt. _Good thing he's not my dad. _

"Get out of my store! Right now or I will call the police!" Mr. Mandon said as his face started to go red with how mad he was.

"Okay" I said as I stood up to my full height. I watched as his eyes took in all of me, height and muscles. I almost let a snicker out as he tried to get himself back under control. Mr. Mandon escorted me out of the store. Only then did it hit me, I would have to sneak back in. I got in my rabbit and put the key in the ammunition and backed up. I waved him good bye which only seemed to tick him off even more. I drove out of the parking lot and down the road to Newton's store before I stopped and got my cheap cell phone.

I dialed Edward's number but before I was finished he was calling me. I picked up immediately.

"Nice Jake, you got yourself kicked out."

"Don't worry I'm going to sneak back in. I just need to change clothes and get a fake mustache so that he won't recognize me."

"…fake mustache… whatever Jacob just get your but back in the store ASAP. You have Bella worried have to death that you're going to into trouble,"

"Tell her not to worry and that I will be in the store within 10 minutes, "I said and closed the phone as I began to dig through the glove compartment for the fake mustache from last Halloween. As soon as I found it I took off the paper on the back to show the sticky stuff. I mashed into onto my face and looked into the mirror to make sure that I put it on right. I changed clothes quickly. _Dang I look like Mario…_ I thought as I looked in the mirror one last time.

I drove back to the Wal-Mart, being careful to make sure that Mr. Mandon didn't see me. I carefully entered the other entrance and passed all notice though I must be like public enemy number 1 to Wal-Mart. I met up with everyone else I the middle of the candy section.

"Okay sorry what next?" I said as Emmett and I high-fived at my last prank.


	5. The Voices and Digging for Gold

**A/N: Hey everyone I'm sorry that I haven't updates in a while. I hope that I haven't lost any readers because I haven't been updating. If you know someone who has stopped reading my stories, tell them that I am going to continue.**

Chapter 5: The Voices

_**Bella's POV**_

I couldn't help but break into continuous bouts of laughter. Jacob looked like a Mario on steroids! It was too bad that we would have to sneak around since Jacob had gotten kicked out. As we were passing the candy aisle I suddenly separated from everyone else. As I looked at the rows of different brands of candy, a woman came up who was dressed in the signature Wal-mart vest. "Hello, is there anything I can help you with?" she said in a way-too-nice voice. It sounded like she lived off of sugar and only sugar.

As I saw her I thought of one of the things on the list. Instantly I switched my face to one of fear and terror. "Why won't you leave me alone? You people never leave me alone!" I screamed as I scrambled backwards my eyes filling with tears. Behind me I could hear everyone snickering, trying to stay quiet because of the consequences if Jacob was caught.

The woman instantly changed from a face of sweetness to one of pure confusion. Before she could react and throw me in the loony bin I turned and ran, grabbing a pack of skittle on my way out. I met up with everyone in the woman's clothing section. Before I could say anything, they all broke into bouts of uncontrollable laughter. I waited as they stopped.

_**Emmett's POV**_

As I sat there laughing at Bella's trick, I couldn't help but notice the huge camera in the corner. It was one of the huge black balls. I walked up to it and before anyone could stop me, I shoved me finger up my nose and starting digging for gold.

_**The People in the Video Office's POV**_

I looked at the hundreds of screens. We were on full alert because of the dude who had peed in the clothing stall. Man whoever he was I hated him. It ended up that because of him Mason was giving us all double shifts and we had to pay attention because he keep coming into the room and checking to see if we had found him.

Suddenly, a dude walked into the line of sight on the camera in the woman's clothing section. He tilted his head to the side and then stuck his finger up his nose. I instantly laughed so hard that the soda I had been drinking went out my nose. (A/N= I have done that before it hurts!!! XD) At that moment, Mr. Mason walked in. "What the Hell?"

_**Bella's POV**_

I was probably the only one that noticed Emmett sneaking off towards the camera. I wasn't even surprised when he stuck his finger up his nose. Before anyone could really notice that he was gone, he turned around and joined the rest of the group. Soon after he joined us again a woman walked into the section and starting looking at the different shirts. Alice zoomed off gracefully before anyone could stop her. She hid in a rack of clothing and the rest of us took the cue and hid in the other racks.

The woman walked up to my rack and I realized it was Jessica. This just got _A LOT_ more fun!

'Pick me' I whispered. She froze, then shook her head shaking out her blonde hair. She walked over to Emmett rack

'Pick me' then everyone started in.

'Pick me, Jessica, Pick me…'

'Jessica…. Pick me… Pick me…'

'Piiiiiccccckkkkkmmmeeee….'

Jessica turned around and around trying to find the source of the voices. She whimpered and started to back up. "The voices… I knew they were real!... The Gnomes… their back to get me…" she whispered as her ran off.

When she was gone they are emerged from the racks and watched as she ran. She ran into a Wal-Mart worker, who respond with a 'Miss, can I help you?'

'NO! I'm not crazy!' Jessica yelled as she left.

They all watched as Jessica ran, and they couldn't help but wonder if they would see her in school on Monday


	6. Guns and Antidepressants DONT MIX

**Author's Note: Sorry for not updating in a while I know it must have been quite the pain for everyone who reads my stories. I'm going to be writing more because I am going to have a a lot more free time on my hands than I expected to. I should be updating quite a bit this summer if all goes how I plan! Anyway sorry for the super long absence and if you know anyone that reads my stories make sure to tell them that I'm going to be updating **_**A LOT**_** Oh and Happy Father's Day! (Tho I don't know if you're a dad or not…)**

_**Christine232**_

**Chapter 6**

"Ok who wants to do the next one: While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are," Alice asked. "Sorry Bella but I don't think you can really do this one because let's face it, you're a terrible liar!"

"ME!!!" Emmett called pushing Jasper out of the way so that he was directly in Alice's line of vision.

"NO ME!!!" Jake nearly screamed as he did a strange dance to get Alice's attention.

"No Jake you need to lie low for now with the security guys looking for you. No other takers? Emmett, you win."

"KEWL!!!"

"You know what to do, right?

"Yea, yea, yea. Just make sure that you get it on camera, ok?"

And with that they weaved their way through the rest of the clothing section, a part of the toy section (Emmett and Jake had to stop and look at all the 'awesome' Transformer and Indiana Jones toys). They all stopped just short of entering. Emmett was ready to go bouncing on the balls of his feet like a hyper active 5 year old. The only thing keeping him back was that he had to make sure that Alice had turned the camera on.

**As soon as it was on and Alice's finger was hovering over the record button, Alice signaled Emmett to approach the hunting guns desk. Before Emmett was in the mans line of vision he used his super human speed to grab a M444 444 Marlin 5-Shot Lever Action 22" Rifle, then ran back to his starting point.** **Emmett slowly walked into the man line of vision, keeping his head down and a sad look on his face. The man behind the counter, Barry his nametag said, "Hello sir and how may I help you? Are you ok sir? you look a little unsteady." ** _Emmett's POV_ _**Hehehehe… This is going to be so fricking funny…**_** I thought as I approached the counter. "I'm okay, I guess" I answered him plastering a look a despair on my face. ** "**What's wrong, sir?" Barry asked leaning over the counter move than before to hear me. **_**This was going to be too easy…**_ "**Well," I said with a huge sigh "I'm looking for the anti-depressants because my doctor he said…" I said not finishing the sentence and letting it fade off. Instantly, Barry changed. He changed from a citizen worrying about sad guy, to a guy who was too frightened to comprehend a gun getting pointed at him by some lunatic.** _Barry's POV_ _**Oh crap oh crap oh crap**_**… I thought as I hit the little emergency button under the counter to get the manager over here.** _Emmett's POV_ "**Well, sir can you just, um…, but the gun down and I can lead you to the medicines."** "**Oh no I need this gun," I answered with sudden inspiration.** "**Why do you need the gun?"** **I looked left, then right, then over my shoulder like I was making sure someone wasn't there. "The Gnomes, of course!"** _Barry's POV_ _**WHERE THE HELL IS MANDON!?!?!?!?**_ _Emmett's POV_ **Barry's reaction to my words were instantanious. I saw oh crap flash through his mind. Not only was I depressed but I was a physco too. **_**Hehehe… **_ "**The Gnomes?"** "**Yes the Gnomes, they look like garden gnomes and they will take you away in their ships then do tests. Then they'll stick a huge needle up your…"** "**Sir what happens to be wrong here? Barry if this was another one of your ding dong ditch things…" said as he strode up in is suit, breaking off mid sentence when he took in the sight of the gun.** "**Sir, may I please have the gun? Then we can help you with anything that you need."** "**You can't protect me from the Gnomes…" **_**Oh my god… I'm glad I don't have to breath!!!**_ "**Sir, we can take care of you can get you whatever you need if you give me the gun." Mr. Mandon said as he held out his hand tentitavely for the gun that I held. ** "**Ummm… Ok…" I said as I put the gun in 's hand.** "**Good man. Now what do you need?"** "**I need a soda or something to drink and my anti-depressants and I need to call someone so that I can get home."** "**Fine, Fine. Just come with me," Mr. Masonn said as he led the way towards the front of the store.** Please review. Just hit the button u kno u want to! P.S. Reviewing makes me update faster! :D –Christine232 


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note_

_See I promised that I would upload more! :D I got my hair cut like Alice's in the movie and I love it! Hehehe! Enjoy!!!!_

_Christine232_

**Chapter 7**

Emmett's POV

I could hardly keep from laughing as I followed into his office. I was having to remind myself to look crazy and look like I was breathing when he handed me a and antidepressants. I had to quickly crumble them, too easy with my strength. I still made it look like I took them, acting like I was sucking the pills from my hands then taking a swig of the nasty human drink. How can they drink that?

'Thank you' I said as I began to stand to leave. I was stopped in my tracks when I looked at Mr. Mandon.

'Thank you for not causing a scene. You probably saved my job.' said gratefully as he looked out a window showing the aisles of the store.

'Umm… Your welcome.' I said suddenly uncomfortable. With that I took my leave and let myself out.

Once out I thought _Edward I got out. I'll be waiting in the Toy aisle. _ With that I ran to the toy aisle making sure that I didn't let anyone see me.

Edward's POV

I could only laugh as we rewatched the video of Emmett freaking out. Suddenly I heard his voice strong in my head compared to the other voices. _Edward I got out. I'll be waiting in the Toy aisle._

'He got out,' I said aloud. 'He's waiting in the toy aisle.'

Rosalie just rolled her eyes _I'm not surprised…_ I heard her think and quickly focused on something else.

Alice lead the way still rewatching the video and laughing. My Bella was beside her, laughing also as they relived Emmett's freaking over 'the gnomes'. I smiled as she laughed, with her beautiful chiming of bells voice. Then we turned the corner to where Emmett was.

'Pikachu, I choose YOU!' was all I heard as I found a pokemon ball smacking my face. I heard it crunch and fall completely broken. He chucked another this time at Jasper who caught it and it crumbled into oblivion.

I heard Bella chiming laugh and everything was suddenly okay. If Bella was happy then I was happy. Jasper wasn't quite as calm. He grabbed several pokemon balls and chucked them at Emmett while he was laughing.

'Hehehe! I got that on video!' Alice exclaimed as she continued to video tape as Emmett tackled Jasper.

Suddenly another voice came into my head _What is all that noise? _Alice has a vision at the same time of a employee coming and catching us. 'Emmett get off Jasper somebody's coming!' Alice and I hissed at the same time. Within a split second Emmett and Jasper were on either end of the aisle looking at the toys. Then the employee turned the corner. He was immediately relieved to see not fighting evident in his thoughts and on his face. He was nearest to Jasper and feeling better asked 'Sir, can I help you?'

I heard Jaspers thoughts before he even thought to do it. Jasper suddenly crumbled to the floor, his face changing into one of a depressant person. 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?!?' he almost cried as he slipped into the fetal position. The dude freaked out. _Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap… _were is only thoughts. 'Dude, ummm…. I'm sorry. Umm… calm down! Dude!' he stuttered as he quickly backed up getting ready to run. 'Sorry!' he yelled as he turned and ran. Once he was out of earshot, we all burst out laughing.

'I got that on camera!' Alice yelled as she started to rewind the camera's memory.


	8. Madonna Condoms and Gnomes Oh my!

Author's Note:

Sorry, I had writers block but I have finally decided how I'm going to have events play out. On with the Chapter!

Christine232

**Chapter 8**

**Madonna Condoms and Gnomes Oh my!**

**Bella's POV**

Just as the worker sped around the corner, the loud speaker cam on. Suddenly Jasper fell and screamed as he went into the fetal position. 'NO! NO! NOT THE VOICES! I WON'T GO WITH YOU GNOMES!' Jasper screamed high pitch-edly, his voice breaking at the end. Next thing I knew Jessica was kneeling by Jasper,leaning over him, almost protectively.

'You hear them too?' Jessica asked, breathless.

Jasper didn't miss a beat. 'They want to take me. I don't want to go!' Jasper yelled turning hysterical at the end, his voice breaking.

'You don't have to go'

'There going to get you' Jasper mumbled.

'No! They won't...'

'That's what they said...'

'I have to go! Uh... Bye!' Jessica yelled.

**Edward's POV**

As Jessica ran off I heard in her thoughts, _They're after me! I have to hide in my backyard bunker! I can stay there for about a week! Is that long enough?..._

**Rosalie's POV**

_Okay weird much? God some people... Hey where's Emmett and the dog?_

_'_Hey did anyone see where Emmett and the dog went?

**Edward's POV**

_Hey Eddie we're in the auto department! Tell Alice to bring her camera! _I heard Emmett think before he began singing 'Barbie Girl' in his head loudly.

'They're in the auto department. Alice he said to bring your camera.' I said as I grabbed my Bella's hand before starting to walk off.

**Emmett's POV**

_Hahaha! They are so going to laugh their butts off! _I thought as I grabbed the biggest funnels I could find.

**Bella's POV**

As I turned the corner, I couldn't help but laugh. Emmett had 2 huge funnels stuffed up his shirt and was trying to flirt with a very creeped out mechanic. Jake was around the corner, his hands interlaced into a finger gun. As he walked over to us he dodged his way around things to not let the mechanic see him while he hummed the mission impossible theme as loud as possible.

'You have beautiful eyes,' Emmett said while fluttering his eyelashes at the mechanic.

I couldn't stop laughing! The mechanic began to reach for the phone. 'Dude, I swear leave now or I'll call. I swear I will!'

'Fine sweety but I'll be back my love!' Emmett said as he walked away from the counter.

'Alice please tell me you got that on camera!' Emmett and I said as the same time.

'Don't worry I did! I also got Jasper's breakdown' Alice said. In the corner of my eye I saw Jake disappear around the corner, but let it go.

'Edward, sorry but I need a human moment.' I said, keeping my hair in my face and not looking into his liquid gold eyes.

'Okay, we'll be here' he said releasing my hand. I turned down the corner that Jake had and turned just in time to see him turn into the pharmacy. I moved as stealthy as I could but I ended up kicking the aisle and knocking over several pill bottles and almost fell on my face before Jake caught me.

'Jake what are you doing?'

'Number 15' he answered as he grabbed several boxes of condoms. 'Want to help?' he asked as he smiled a mischievous smile.

**Edward's POV**

_'Jake what are you doing?'_

_'Number 15. Want to help?'_

I looked to my left and right and didn't see Jake or Bella. _Oh crap!_ was my only thought.

'Alice what is number 15?'

_the condom one, she thought_

**Bella's POV**

Jake and I dropped half of the boxes into 1 person's basket and watched as the cashier's eyes went wide at the old woman who was pressing in her pin code. We were still laughing when everyone walked up. 'You missed it!' I said between laughs.

'There's only one thing left to do. Code 3. We need a walmart vest' Alice said as she got out here camera. Emmett ran at vampire speed and within seconds returned, vest in hand.

'Okay anything else?'

'Okay we're ready' Alice said as she turned her camera on.

Author's Note

I have _**finally**_ decided what Code 3 will mean and it is hilarious! 15 reviews to the next chapter!

Christine232


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